Allah, the Most Beneficent, has repeatedly emphasized the right of parents in general and the mother in particular. Allah, the Exalted, states in the Qur’an: Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him; and that you be good to your parents. If one of them or both reach old age in your life, do not say to them a word of the faintest complaint or disrespect, nor shout at them; but address them in terms of honor.

In this verse the right of Allah to be worshiped is placed adjacent to the right of parents, and all scholars agree that the rights of parents in Islam are greater and placed before all others except Allah. Obedience to parents must be given priority over all others including the wife. This does not mean that the wife to be humiliated or insulted in any matter, but only that parents should be given priority in obedience over all others on the condition that they do not disobey Allah, the Exalted, and His Prophet.

Allah.s pleasure or displeasure with man is but an indication of the pleasure of the parents with their son or daughter, as the Prophet indicated  when he said:  Allah’s pleasure with man is through the pleasure of the parents and His displeasure is through the displeasure of the parents.. [Tabrani and verified] Birr al-Walidain. means being obedient, good and kind to them, pleasing them and taking care of their needs, especially in old age. Serving them is considered obligatory service and preferred over participating in the various acts of volunteer service like in some form of Jihad (i.e., striving in the cause of Allah).

A man came to ask permission to go for Jihad and the Messenger of Allah  asked if his parents were alive to which he replied in the affirmative. Then he said to the man: So strive for them and exert yourself (jaahid).[Bukhari & Muslim] This means that a mature son should work diligently to help his parents and serve their needs. Unless a Muslim is compelled to take a part in defensive Jihad, the care for parents is given priority. This is also confirmed in the authentic tradition Ibn Mas’ood  narrated:

I asked Allah’s Prophet : ’O Prophet of Allah: What is the most beloved act in the sight of Allah?’

He said: Offering the prayer in its proper time..

I asked: ’What comes next, O Prophet of Allah?’

He said: Being good, kind, respectful, obedient andcaring to your parents..

I further asked: ’What comes next, O Prophet of Allah?’

He said: Striving in the cause of Allah..

In another tradition Abdullah bin Amr bin al-Aas narrated:

A man came to the Messenger of Allah and said to him: ’O Messenger of Allah! I shall give you my pledge of allegiance to migrate and strive in the cause of Allah seeking His reward only.’ Upon hearing that the Prophet asked the man: Are your parents alive? The man said: ’Yes, O Prophet of Allah, both of them are living.’

He said: Do you seek the reward from Allah?.

He said: ’Yes.’

He said: Then go back to your parents and be the best and kindest companion for them.. [Muslim] And in another authentic tradition Mu.awiyyah as- Sulami said to the Messenger of Allah : ’I want to go for Jihad in the way of Allah.’

The Messenger of Allah asked: Is your mother alive?.

He said: ’Yes.’

He said: Stay with her, for Jannah (Heavenly Gardens) is under her feet.. [Ahmed, Nasa’e, Haakim & others and verified]

This idiomatic expression shows the degree of deference, respect and obedience that the children should show to their mother to earn her pleasure by continuous care and service, which leads to attaining the pleasure of Allah and His Paradise, the promised reward for all rightly guided and devout believers. Mothers have greater right and deserve more kindness, helping service, good treatment and companionship than the fathers because the mother is the first one to care for the children and she suffers more directly with daily hardships in their upbringing.

Bukhari and others report that Abu-Hurairah  narrated:

A man came to the Prophet  and asked him: ’O Prophet of Allah! Who is the most deserving and worthy of my good company?’

Allah’s Prophet answered: Your mother.

The man asked: ’Who comes next after her?’

He said: Your mother.

The man asked again: ’Who comes next after her?’

He said: Your mother.

The man asked again: ’Who comes next after her?’

He said: Your father.

This comprehensive lesson is a summary proving that the mothers deserve the utmost in obedience, benevolence and concern throughout their lives. This tradition indicates that a mother has three times the rights of that of a father due to the sufferings she experiences during the various stages of her child.s life; in pregnancy, delivery, nursing, and raising the child. The fetus nourishes and thrives on the account of the mother while in womb for nine months and for two more years if the mother decides to breastfeed her child. Allah, the Exalted, states in the Glorious Qur’an:

And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and good to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship. The duration of carrying him (in the womb) and weaning is two years. So thank Me and to your parents; unto Me is the final destination. Mothers are given priority over fathers in terms of special kindness, care, duty, help, and obedience. Both parents, in accordance with Islamic teachings and principles, are to be obeyed, respected and not differed with as long as they do not command or order their children to disobey their Creator. If they order their children to perform an act of disobedience to Allah then they are to be disobeyed in that particular matter only and a son or daughter must continue to fulfill their normal duties towards parents in other matters. They are expected to serve them, help them in their worldly affairs, and come to their rescue when they need them.

Allah, the Exalted, states in the Glorious Qur’an: And if parents strive with you to make you join in worship with Me that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the worldly (affairs) kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you did throughout your life. Parents must be respected, obeyed and offered financial assistance by their children, even if they have a different religion or faith, other than Islam, as long as they do not demand that their son or daughter do any act of disobedience to Allah. Asma binte Abu-Bakr said:

My mother, who was still a pagan, came to visit. I went to the Messenger of Allah seeking his verdict. I said, .She has come to visit and she is interested in Islam, should I maintain my relationship with her? the Messenger of Allah  said: Yes, indeed, stay connected to your mother.

Islam.s encouragement to sons and daughters to treat their mothers with kindness, obedience and care – and to beckon to give any possible assistance to their parents in their various daily household chores – is illustrated in the following lengthy tradition wherein Abu-Hurairah narrated that the Prophet said:Only three infants spoke while still in the cradle. The first was Jesus, son of Mary. The second was an Israeli at the time of Juraij, a monk who used to seclude himself in a chamber and devote his time to prayer and the worship of Allah. One day Juraij’s mother asked for his help while he was engaged with his prayers. He said: ’O Allah! I am confused as to whom should I give priority; my prayers to you or my mother.’

He continued his prayers, and neglected his mother’s request for help; upon this Juraij’s mother left. On the following morning the mother did the same, and Juraij also continued his prayers and neglected his mother’s call for help. On the following day, Juraij’s mother came again to him and called him to help her, as she had done in the past two days. Juraij did not respond. Upon seeing that, the mother said: ’O Allah! Have Juraij look at the faces of prostitutes before he dies.’At the time Israelis used to highly admire the amount and manner of Juraij’s worship, prayers and seclusion to which he devoted himself.

A very beautiful and attractive prostitute that was popular among the people proposed to Israelis: ’If you wish, I can tempt Juraij and cause him to have illegal sexual relations with me.’ The prostitute set out to execute her plan, trying her best to lure Juraij into illegal sex with her, but her efforts were a failure. She then approached a shepherd who used to graze his flock close to Juraij’s chamber and offered herself to the shepherd who showed no hesitation. The prostitute became pregnant and upon delivery accused Juraij of being the father of the child. The Israelis went to Juraij in his chamber, drove him out, destroyed the chamber and started beating him.

He asked: “What is the matter? Why are you beating me?”

They said: “You have fornicated with this prostitute and she delivered a baby from you, while you pretended to be a pious man.”

Juraij said: “Would you bring the baby here and let me offer my prayers to prove to you that I am not the father of that child.”

The Israelis permitted Juraij to offer his prayers, and they brought the baby. When Juraij finished his prayers, he went to the baby and pointed to his belly with his hand asking: “Who is your real father?”

The baby still in the cradle, said: “My father is the shepherd.” Upon hearing the baby’s statement and confession, the Israelis started kissing Juraij, seeking his blessings and said: “Should we reconstruct a chamber out of gold for you?”

He said: “No. But just rebuild it of clay and mud as it was built before.” And so they did. The third baby who spoke in the cradle was an infant who was nursing at his mother’s breast when a knight wearing fancy clothes passed by on a beautiful horse. The nursing mother said: ’O Allah! In the future let my son be like this knight.’ Upon hearing this supplication the nursing infant left his mother’s breast and said, while looking at the knight himself: ’O Allah! In the future do not make me like this knight’. Then the infant went back to sucking.

(The narrator of the Hadith, Abu-Hurairah ), said: ’I can remember the Prophet  imitating the infant’s nursing his mother’s breast by placing his index finger in his mouth and sucking it.’ Then the mother and her nursing infant passed by a maid who was being beaten by her master and others accusing her with fornication and theft. The maid continued to say: ’Allah suffices me and He is My Guardian!’

The mother said: ’O Allah! Do not let my child be like this woman in the future.’ Upon hearing his mother’s statement, the infant left his mother’s breast and said: ’O Allah! In the future let me be like this woman!’

The mother, upon hearing her infant’s statement, addressed him saying: ’Son! What is the matter with you? A nicely dressed knight passed by on a very nice horse, with a high status and power and I wished that you would be like him in the future; but you refused to be like him. Then when we passed by that maid who was beaten and disciplined for an accusation of fornication and theft, and I prayed to Allah for you not to be tortured and accused like her, you also rejected my supplication.’

The infant said: ’O Mother, as for the knight, he was a tyrant and thus I asked Allah not to make me like him. As for the beaten and accused maid, she had neither fornicate nor stolen. Thus I asked Allah to make me innocent and pure like her!. Disobeying parents, disrespecting them and failing to fulfill their rights is the greatest of sins. The punishment from Allah of this sin is not only in the hereafter but in this life as well, as it is narrated that the Messenger of Allah  said:

Two (kinds of sins) Allah will forward (the punishment of) in this world: violent transgression and disobedience of children to their parents. [Bukhari in his Tareekh & Tabrani and verified]

The Messenger of Allah also said: Verily, Allah has forbidden you to disobey your mothers, to prevent people from their rights, to ask people for what you are not entitled, to bury your baby-girls alive. He detests for you to gossip, to ask too many questions, or to waste your wealth.. [Bukhari and others]

Islam teaches that seeking the pleasure of the parents, and being good, kind, helpful, considerate to them, respecting and caring for them throughout their life, is a major way to expiate and remove the burden of our sins in this world.

These broad guidelines show the major rights of parents in general, and mothers in particular, and illustrate that mothers remain uniquely respected in Islamic teachings.